Missing my Kids

I suppose this title could be confusing: Which kids is she missing? Her real kids (ages 22 and 23) or her 180 days a year kids? I didn't realize that I would be referring to both when I set out to write this, but I am.
My own kids are with me in spirit every day, and often through texting, facebook and phone! though both are way too far away for my liking. I just saw Nick last week and enjoyed spending time with him, Melissa ( his girlfriend) and their two dogs. Stef will be coming in a couple weeks on her way to Southern California and I will be so happy to see her. I recall one time telling her that when I have her and Nick with me I feel like I have all of my limbs attached.  I love my kids and have always promoted their autonomy, but I miss them so much. My own life is full of many important meaningful relationships with kids and families, and is made even better with a wonderful loving husband who shares many of my passions and soapboxes.
But this week, on top of that, I am missing my class. It's my intern's solo week and I am out of the classroom. Before you get the wrong idea, this does not mean I am strolling around, drinking coffee and wasting time! I am cleaning out my office, running off things for my Kindergarten team, finishing report cards, attending a day long equity training and presenting on it to staff.. yes, I am busy!
Busy, but missing something. Missing the hugs and stories from my students. Missing the inspiration to write, as their comments and learning "ahas" often inspire me to make connections and reflect on good teaching practice.
I know that they are in wonderful hands. I am confident that they are learning and thriving in my class this week. But selfishly, I miss them.  I suppose if I didn't, then, I would worry.

Looking in the Mirror: The Power of Self-Reflection

Last November I wrote a post about building self efficacy through daily self-reflection. I was on a mission to build independence and teach kids how to reflect on their behavior and learning at school.  Yesterday, as my husband and I enjoyed a nice conversation over dinner ( yes, yet again a discussion that came back to kids and school!) we began discussing how these daily self-evaluations are contributing to kids' growth. It struck me that the value of this practice is even greater than I intended.
Here are a few of the "aha's" and reasons why I will continue to have kids think about their respect, responsibility and safety at school and communicate their reflections to their parents each day.

• One of the huge benefits of this practice is that each child is reflecting on his day and not looking to the teacher to "report" if he has had a "good" day or "bad" day. I have heard teachers tell parents that "Johnny" had a "bad" day. When I train kids to use this form, we don't use the words "good" and "bad". We talk about how some of the choices they made might have been wise choices or "not the best" choices where they "didn't think" before acting. We talk a lot about how sometimes a decision to act seems like a good choice but on further reflection, it's not such a great idea. Each day is a fresh start, where we know more about ourselves than the day before!
•  As my students fill out their forms, I welcome them to solicit my input only after they have already thought about how they will rate themselves. Often kids are tougher on themselves than I would be, but their perceptions give me lots of information. It's a great opportunity to point out positive choices they may have overlooked. Sometimes they get stuck on one challenging moment and generalize it to the entire day. 
• The report is a daily communication with parents and usually bears good news! I have seen the tendency for some teachers to only send reports home that focus on when a child has had difficulties that day.
• The kids can fill out the form and know what the icons mean even if they can't yet read the words. The training period was probably about a week and after that, the kids were able to fill them out on their own.
• The evaluation generates a conversation between the teacher and the student about how "we" can work together to have success in the classroom. When a child has had some tough times focusing and getting work done, and the evidence is in the unfinished pile of work, we can brainstorm together with the parents about possible strategies to help him/her solve the problem. When kids begin to realize that they need fewer distractions, or that when they are tired they don't work as well, they can begin to take responsibility in the classroom and ask the teacher for a "quiet area" to work in or an earlier bedtime from parents. Believe it or not, I have had kids go home and tell their parents that they need more sleep!  

          These are just a few of the reasons why I will continue to have my kids reflect. Most importantly, so far, is that happy, engaged and independent learners come to school excited and "ready for a challenge" each day.

They Want to Know..About us

A few days ago I was reminded of an important lesson about working with kids. As I closed down a presentation featuring pictures of my students during recent lessons, a voice cried out from the crowd of 5 year old fans. "Show us that picture! " "That Picture" was a family picture of my visit to my Dad's house at Christmas. I hadn't planned on taking a 5 minute diversion into  "my life story" because that wasn't on my lesson plan. But what happened next was indeed, a vivid example of the "teachable moment" and the importance of relationship.
As they giggled at the silver haired man I called, "my dad", questions flew. "Who's that next to him?" "Is that your mom?" Oh great, I thought. Now I have to explain that my mom died 10 years ago and that the woman next to my dad is my stepmom. There was a moment of silence and then more questions. " Do you miss her?" "How did she die?" Then came the spontaneous sharing of empathetic little souls," My grandma died too, and I miss her too." I heard and saw students comforting each other with hugs and kind comments.
 The scene reminded me of those moments in the car when my children were small and they asked much braver questions than when we sat face to face, eye to eye. In the dark room, illuminated by the light of the projector, I took the time to ease the curious minds and share with them just a little more about me. I think we all grew a step closer to understanding each other that day. And, of course, I learned more about the nature of relationship: we want to know about each other and we yearn to care.

The Teacher Dog and Pony Show

It's that time of year, or is it "always" that time of year when your door flies open and suddenly your classroom is filled with strangers, looking for evidence of your incredible teaching prowess.  As these moments often bring me considerable stress, I thought I would share my attempt at dealing with it by humor and song.  SO, here it is. The song you've been waiting for. Watch out, Weird Al!

Teacher Dog and Pony
(sung to the tune of Hokey Pokey)

You let the big suits in
You send the big suits out
You let the big suits in
And you wish you had some clout
You do the dog and pony
Cause you want to keep your job
That’s what it’s all about!


You hope your kids tune in
You watch your kids tune out
You watch the suits come in
And you want to scream and shout
You do the dog and pony
Cause you want to keep your job
That’s what it’s all about!


You do your best lesson
You try to impress them
You do your best lesson
And you hope the time goes fast
You do the dog and pony
Cause you want to keep your job
That’s what it’s all about!

So just remember then
It’s not about the show
It’s all about the kids
And it’s them who truly know
You do the dog and pony
Cause you want to be with them
That’s what it’s all about!

Preventing Learned Helplessness by Promoting Independence

It's that critical time of year when kindergartners are becoming more independent. This independence can lead to a strong sense of efficacy with an "I can do it" mentality. Sometimes, though, our actions actually sabotage a child's strides toward autonomy. 
The progress toward independence can be tentative during this time as kids become more aware of their growing bodies, abilities and those of peers. At times kids seem to sense that their parents miss their "preschool years" and their precious dependence. It's wonderful to reminisce and share their sweet memories, while also pointing out how great it is that your child is growing stronger and more capable each day.
If you feel the need to jump in and help your child conquer a challenge, please stop for a moment and think: will my help encourage my child to move on and be willing and able to attempt tasks himself? Am I encouraging and modeling that hard work can solve problems? Or will my help give my child the idea that she is not capable of doing the job herself?
The most effective way to support a child in learning a new skill is to scaffold him, support him to take on a task (or even a step of a task) just beyond what he thinks he can do. Have you ever seen the smile of mastery on the face of a child just learning to ride a bike? Yes, we give them training wheels so they can learn to balance first and get the feeling of the bike.  We run aside them cheering them on, teaching them to keep going when they get scared. We also must eventually let go and encourage them to try their hardest and be prepared for the inevitable fall. Not only must we teach them to work hard to succeed but to fail well and learn from it.  
Yes, we tend to want to protect our children, but we must not hold them back. They deserve to thrive with the right amount of autonomy and independence.

Pass the Microphone Please..

On our last day of class before our Winter Break, I was challenged to find ways to make the day peacefully memorable for my kindergartners. Teachers were urged by our leadership to keep any and all "holiday celebrations" limited to the brief period after lunch on Friday, the very last day before break.
We had planned a quiet, low-key celebration after lunch: cookie decorating, hot cocoa drinking, gathering all of our projects and a present for our families to take home, and singing some holiday songs with other K classes in our shared "pod" area. As I reviewed the plans, I decided that something was missing: kid voice. I set aside about 20 minutes for a "karaoke" share, passing the microphone around the circle and inviting the kids to share a custom or ritual they do at this holiday time or any time of year. Even my most reluctant and shy speakers seized the opportunity to share about lighting candles, decorating trees and singing songs. Although there is always the challenge of keeping kids engaged and attentive, I think it's important to build the skill of respectful listening, especially to peers. I wish I had taken pictures of the giggles and serious moments. They were highly engaged!
As we lined up to go home, little voices chimed : " two weeks without school! I'll miss you SO much!" "Are you sure we can't come tomowwow?" In a moment of spontaneity, the kids began hugging each other, and then bounced into line for a teacher hug. 20 hugs and a few tears later, the bright eyed munchkins were on their way to two weeks of time with their families. It was a wonderful way to send them off! Happy Holidays Room 11!

Daily Self Reflection: Building Self-Efficacy in Kindergarten

After much reflection and discussion we have decided to implement a new tool in our Kindergarten class to help students reflect upon and take responsibility for their daily behavior and learning. Each student will decide how well he/she met the goals of being respectful, responsible and safe. Together we will complete and review these mini-forms at the end of each day and each child will take home the form to share with a parent!