3 Words You Want to Hear from Learners

My favorite words to hear from Isaac just might be these: I did it!

Yep, it's all about Isaac, the 2 year old silly, adorable boy, (my grandson) who steals my heart every time I see him. He's gotten me thinking about the messages we give kids about what they can do and how they view obstacles. I've caught myself, offering to help, and stopped, dead, in my overly helpful "Gaga" tracks,  to let him struggle just a bit, especially as he teeters toward the point of frustration in building something, getting on his little bike, or climbing up onto the couch.

It's quite the dance, especially with toddlers, to embrace that tipping point of a potential meltdown and not want to rush in and prevent it. What I've learned is that it is so essential to stand back and wait and see what happens first.

You see, when you hear the words gleefully shouted, "I did it!!" you realize that your help might just have deprived the little one of that experience of momentary joy and empowerment.

As I think about older learners as well, I believe that the same applies. How often do we step in too soon, and possibly disempower kids? What are your thoughts on building self-efficacy and confidence?

The Wise Question of a 2 Year Old: "Hmm..what I like?"

“What I like” today?

His sweet little voice echoes in my head. Isaac, my 2 year old grandson, loves to yank open the refrigerator door, standing in its wake to gaze inside, proclaiming, “Hmm….what I like?”

I feel like him today and other rare days when I actually have free time, a priceless commodity in my perhaps too busy life.  It’s nearly 9 a.m. a few days post-Christmas and the second Monday of holiday break. Educators know the feeling: OMG break is half over! I must do something to enjoy my time AND get stuff done.

Perhaps I am too much the queen of “getting stuff done” and need to become the princess of “process” days. Maybe what I really need is to take a bit of time to evaluate Isaac’s big question: 

“Hmm….what I like?”

What if today, instead of the errands/chores I could keep myself busy with, I devoted a few hours to previously deemed “pointless” creative pursuits. What would they be?

Here are a few ideas spontaneously offering themselves as I write:

•       Play around with some ribbons, elastic etc to make headbands for sweet Eva, my 3 month old   granddaughter. Crafting is always a time I get in flow. 
•        Make New Year’s cards, since I didn’t get around to Christmas cards.
•        Cook! Research some autoimmune diet recipes so that I have yummy nutritious food to take even better care of myself.
•        Shop, for veggies and ingredients for those recipes.
•        Shop some more! I love getting deals on pretty Christmas wrap and haven’t indulged in this discount shopping time in years.
•        Read! Whatever I feel like reading is fair game. 
•       Write down those ideas I’ve had for picture books. No pressure to start writing, but enjoying the freedom of brainstorming.
• Move! Whether it's going to Zumba tonight, or going for a spontaneous run, I will be sure to get my body moving as I feel the rewards immensely when I do. 

Ah, yes, writing this has liberated the child in me who wants to play today. I am off the computer now to decide where I’d like to begin. Who joins me today in a morning of, “What I like?” What will you do if you give yourself a choice to create and/or play?

Do Report Card Narratives Lead to Positive Change?

It's that wonderful (aka exhausting) time of year!

Trimester report card narratives were due to my administrator on Tuesday. My very quiet disclaimer: Self Science, the class I teach for all students in 5th -8th grade, does not have its own space on the report card, so I don't actually have to/get to write them.  In fact, I am very fortunate that I don't deal with grades in my classes. I spend a lot of time inviting students in reflective conversations on shared google docs where we share thoughts and observations.  How could I even begin to "grade" social and emotional skills anyway?

Asking questions about why and how we do it: 

Before I begin, let me emphasize that I am questioning the "system", not criticizing the work of hard working teachers.
My awesome, and exhausted after writing way too many narratives colleagues ask for input, so I  have the opportunity to edit, and sometimes reframe comments that need a bit of clarity.  Despite the fact that I work in a school where teachers are strengths-oriented and skilled at observation, I still wonder if narratives could be more productive and useful. Does the incredible investment of time pay off? Do parents actually find the paragraphs and paragraphs written about their middle schoolers helpful? Do the narratives lead to positive change?

Here's another main concern:  So much of what we write seems so subjective, more about "who" we think a kid is, instead of "what" they have done during the trimester.

What would happen if we made a more concerted attempt to avoid judgment oriented phrases such as:  Nicole is a conscientious and generous student..  and tried something more "action" specific: Nicole works diligently in class and often goes out of her way to help peers when they are struggling to understand.

Perhaps the key is in student voice: 

What if we ask students for their reflections on their performance before writing their narratives, so we can compare their view of their effort and improvement with our own perception? What if a student's reflection actually landed on the report card? Wouldn't it be a rich discussion for parents to compare and contrast the student's impression with the teacher's report? What if report cards included goals and action items co-created by students and teachers?

I'd love to hear from you..
How do you ensure that your narratives lead to positive change?

S.L.O.W.

S.L.O.W.

As I was running today, it occurred to me how changing my focus of attention, while doing something challenging (like running!), altered the difficulty and pleasurablilty of my experience. As I pondered the following actions, I found the time and distance whoosh away.

I am definitely going to use the S.L.O.W. acronym to help me remember to:

S: Savor the interesting moments; learn how to stay and steep in the tiny moments of pleasure that are often interspersed with moments of pain and difficulty.   

L: Linger.. linger in beauty and curiosity.  Turn your attention to that beautiful tree with the fiery red leaves and let your eyes linger there.  Wonder how long those colors will remain before winter comes along.

O: Observe openly and often: not just with your eyes, but with all of your senses. Today I will breathe in the aroma of the amazing food cooking in the kitchen. I may even go outside and come back in to exaggerate the incredible smell of deliciousness.

W: Witness and notice more often the growth in your life or yourself. Maybe, like me, you aren’t the fastest runner out there, but you are making progress toward your health. Take the time to give yourself the props you would give a beloved friend.

What acronyms help you stay present and find more meaning in your life?

What if? 8 reflective questions to get me writing again.

It's been way too long since I have written! It's actually quite embarrassing to visit this blog and see that it's been over a year. No more excuses!

What if I wrote after these beautiful moments of inspiration?

 I wonder if these questions will motivate others as they now re-ignite my desire to put myself out there in the vulnerable act of blogging.

What if I didn't need a moment of brilliance in order to write?
What if one idea I wanted to share was simply enough?
What if one powerful student comment that I shared helped an educator to reconsider his/her practice?
What if I something I shared helped someone make it through the day?
What if I took a dedicated 20-30 minutes and wrote every. single. day?
What if I actually found a writer's group and shared my passion for writing while receiving critical feedback?
What if I actually dared to ask for an interview from experts I value?
What if I asked a friend to check in periodically to support my courageous creating?


What questions will you ask yourself today? What's something you've been longing to do but just haven't managed to accomplish, yet?

Please share your inspiration!

Don't Miss Fish in a Tree by Lynda Mullaly Hunt

Can't stop reading @LynMullalyHunt ! Love it so far! pic.twitter.com/gebbnbOvuL
— Joan Young (@flourishingkids) August 16, 2014

Fish In A Tree by Lynda Mullaly Hunt
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

(This review is based on an "advance uncorrected galley" or advance reader copy.)

My Friday night was just spent reading Fish in a Tree, and I am sad that I finished this book so quickly.
I fell in love with Carley in Lynda Mullaly Hunt's first book, One for the Murphys, and did just the same with Ally, the main character in Fish in a Tree.
Ally is one of those brilliant kids we've met in our classes, in our communities, in our homes. She shines in some places, while struggling in others, and we gladly take her on as our friend, wanting to fight her battles with her every step of the way.
Lynda introduces us to characters who evoke our own memories of school and of building our identities. She brings our heart into the mix right away and we are pulled in, laughing, crying and cheering the whole way.

I was privileged to Skype- interview Lynda awhile back, and ask her some nitty gritty questions about her first book. Check it out!

An Opportunity to Learn: Attacking gets us Nowhere

I've been struck recently by the lack of civility in blog post comment streams, tweets, fb comments and other virtual spaces. Although I realize that being online isn't the "cause" of this incivility, I just wonder to myself as I read teachers and others attacking each other, "Would you say this to the person face to face?"

I have been called, with certain derision, a "do-gooder" in the past, so I realize that I might have a propensity for the rose colored glasses at times, but even when I make a comment with some level of disagreement, I speak/write with a specific intention: to create a constructive conversation, one that simply gets others to wonder a bit, open their minds.

Before we react, perhaps we can just take a moment to wonder about what is going on within us. What is our motivation for speaking up? Has something got us "seeing red?" If so, will our comment work better when we have calmed down enough to write a thoughtful, effective, yet from the heart? Does someone disagreeing with us have to threaten us? Maybe it can just be an opportunity for learning.

Believing in Students So They Believe In Themselves — Whole Child Education

Last week, I was so pleased to be part of this discussion with passionate educators and authors.  I don't think I can do justice by trying to summarize, so find a bit of time and take a listen!



Believing in Students So They Believe In Themselves — Whole Child Education

Our Way isn't the Best Way

Who are we, as teachers, (or anyone for that matter) to judge each other? I admit it.. I do it too, so before anyone thinks I am standing on a soapbox claiming to be beyond this, I am writing as much for my own reminding as anyone else.

I happened to see a tweet yesterday that got me thinking:  it was something about waiting for others to come around to “our way” of teaching.

As is often the case with tweets, this one got me thinking.

Teaching is an intensely personal transaction, so why do we arrogantly assume that if others don’t teach like us, they are further down the path to success?

Instead of trying to sell our egocentric ideal approach, what if we simply invited others to ponder two simple questions:

How well do you know your students and what they need?

How is your approach and agenda meeting those needs?

Maybe in this process, we should also step back and take the time to reflect on our own way. Perhaps we’ve been starstruck and blindsided by the edu-star syndrome, buying into what others with lots of Twitter followers think. Maybe when others offer us praise on social media, we fall for the idea that we have “arrived” at our perfect way of teaching. I get it..totally.

I am going to state the obvious: there is no perfect way. What works today, in this particular class, may not work for our class next week. Teaching is an art, a fluid dance…and it should be, because the complex little (or not so little) people that arrive in our rooms deserve an environment that responds to them, that helps shape them, that gives them messages that when we work hard, we can learn. 

What students end up believing they can or cannot do might just be the most important transaction of all.

So how do we inspire others, and ourselves, to continuously reflect on the interactions with the most important people in the room? How do we keep adjusting and accommodating in a system that seems to love its, "that's how it's always been," mentality?

If you want innovation, get a young idealistic teacher..and other damaging myths..

I recently read a post about edtech startups and the presence and role of teachers in them. There were a couple of assumptions that just..well.. let's just say "ruffled my feathers". (And before I get started, I must note that I know many innovative, excellent teachers of all ages, so I have no bias for young or old)

• One assumption was that if education companies were going to "transform" or disrupt education, having teachers on board was not (necessarily) going to help since they(teachers) have a vested interest in the status quo and because companies have had teachers writing curriculum for years with "no change happening." Um, do we think that the big companies, the great big arms of the edu- machine are going to listen to a teacher, a marginalized professional who is writing that curriculum to supplement his/her measly income? Let's be clear: I gain no financial incentive nor personal satisfaction from perpetuating the bureaucratic machine of education. In fact, I've spent most of my years as an educator fighting and advocating for kids' rights, and when I believed I could no longer effect change, I left my school( to the detriment of my own financial security/retirement plan) for somewhere I could make a bigger impact. 

•  The writer went on to talk about other industries where the people who made the innovations came from outside the industry. He talked about how teachers are prone to cognitive biases and distortions. Isn't that true of all of us humans? Now this is all fine and good for those on the outside to chime in with ideas, except that education isn't necessarily like the auto industry. We are talking about the lives of children. We are talking about developing not only skills and competencies but BELIEFS about what kids think they can do in this world. Those of us who have been around for awhile understand that many aspects of education are not best suited for the learners in our classrooms. We spend our own money, our supposed "vacation" time, and every moment we can trying to find new ways to meet the needs of our learners. We eat, breathe, sleep, and dream about our students, especially when they suffer hardships beyond our control. 

• In education, teachers are tasked with being counselors, mentors, teachers, surrogate parents, nurses, caregivers, and so much more. To actually think that we who live within the world of education don't believe that it needs to change is crazy to me. To think that we who are veteran educators don't want it to change is even crazier to me. We have seen more, experienced more "pain points" as they like to say in business. We know what we need for tech in the classroom, just as we have strong pedagogical views shaped by years of experience. We know the damage caused by inequity; we witness the institutional racism that leads to higher rates of formal discipline for children of color. We do our best to intervene. We know the tools we would invent if we knew how to code or had the time to develop these tools.  We feel the pain, and feel it deeply when our children, aka, our students, suffer. 

• The author also mentioned that perhaps younger, more idealistic teachers are going to be the ones who just might make an impact in edtech startups. He then goes even further by saying that maybe it won't even be those teachers, but the tech savvy students who will enter the workplace.  I'm all for student voice, but guess who will know best how to give those students the microphone? Teachers who get it and, "get them." 

I wrote this post weeks ago, and put it on hold to see if I would feel equally passionate as my anger died down. I am choosing to post it as it is, without editing further, as I believe that as my "nice teacher" self, I tend to make peace more often than I should.  I'd love to hear your thoughts on how we can all be heard as the important voices of advocacy for our students. 

Passionate Learners: Giving Our Classrooms Back to Our Students, by Pernille Ripp: a Must- read for Teachers

Reviews are usually not my cup of tea; product reviews, book reviews, etc. are not at the top of my topics. I make an exception, quite frankly, when an author tugs at my heart, strengthens my commitment, and challenges me to take my skills to the next level. I have faithfully read Pernille's blog for many years, and now have the opportunity to share about her first book.

In her book, Passionate Learners, Giving our Classrooms Back to Our Students, recently released by PLP, Pernille Ripp takes us through her transformation from a "follow the rules no matter what" teacher to a passionate co-learner and facilitator who creates a place of shared ownership, mutual respect, and true empowered learning. She leaves no controversial topic unturned: from behavior charts, stickers and parties, to grading, punishment, homework and more. Pernille gives her readers a peek inside her mind: what she used to think, what she believes now, and hints for teachers who want to  build a learning environment that aligns with their beliefs.

Pernille does not ask anything of readers she is not prepared to do herself, nor does she expect to be seen as an "expert." She beckons us to question our deepest beliefs, our best practices, the outcomes of our daily classroom experiences and says that we must continue to question in order to grow. With questionnaires to help us reflect, inspiring student videos and photos to encourage our belief in the power of student autonomy, Pernille provides tools, stories, and questions so that we can tackle any challenge. She does not promise that change will be easy, nor does she assume that there is a "one-size fits all" approach for every classroom. She simply lays out guidelines and tips for making progressive moves toward a goal of a true student centered classroom.

I wish that I had read this book a year earlier as I struggled with being a change maker at my school. Although I have a broad PLN I can call on for support, somehow reading these words felt like an extended conversation with a wise friend. Thank you, Pernille, for your oh so honest story that affirms the gifts and challenges of our vital profession.

How Many?

How many times have you put off that picture with your kids because you're having a bad hair day?
How many times have you said, I'll play that game with you tomorrow...I've got to finish this first?
How many ways have you stopped to savor beauty today?
How many opportunities might you have missed by staring into your phone?
How will you find the time to listen to that kid who wants to share his/her "off-topic" story?

I share these questions not from atop a soapbox, but as a reminder, not just to you, but to me. In this world where we seem to often value being busy and productive over present and peaceful, I stop today to remind myself: we only have one life, and it's up to us to grab the joys that live in ordinary moments.

Today..

I took a selfie of my grandson and me. No makeup, no brushed hair. Just us, capturing the joyful moment of being outside on a spring day. I wish I had been less vain as my kids were growing up, and not waited for those times I didn't feel "too fat" or "not ready" for the camera.

Today, tomorrow.. and each day I possibly can! 

 I will find a few moments to enjoy the beauty around me, like I did last week when visiting my daughter in NC.

What can you do to savor more of those moments that seem ordinary but can be filled with meaning and joy?

In her Honor..A Tribute to my Mom

My mom, in 1953

It's been 15 years since we lost our mom. I say, "we," because she left behind 5 kids, many grandchildren already born and a couple yet to be born, and missed the opportunity to meet her great grandchildren. She was way too young, 63, to be exact. We simply weren't prepared to lose the grandma to our kids and the woman who held our family together.

My relationship with my mom had its ups and downs for sure..it wasn't perfect by any means, perhaps because in so many ways we were more alike than I wanted to admit. In fact, I see more of her in me each day I grow older, and I've grown to embrace the strength and stubborn streak I got from her.

What I will always be thankful for is that my mom was very close to my kids. Nick and Stef loved being over at my parents' house, swimming, playing, hanging out while I was at work. My mom seemed happiest of all as a grandma, as if she had waited her whole life to spoil her grandkids. Now that I am a grandma, I understand her even better.

My mom taught me the importance and joy of giving. There were no ordinary gifts given by my mom. She knew the exact gift each of us needed or wanted and would not settle for anything less. Gift giving remains one of my greatest challenges as I always have to think up something original, thoughtful, special to carry on her legacy.

My mom was a very sensitive woman, though it was hidden beneath her sharp sarcastic tongue, which I naturally possess as well.  She gifted all of us with creative inclinations: to sew, paint, craft, sing, make music, write.. and shared with all of us her love of reading. 

On this day, April 6, 2014, I gratefully savor the memories and gift of the time I had with her. I love you Mom. 

365 Mindful Moments: Hurt Heart...

This post resurfaced on Twitter tonight and reminded me of an important story of a very special student and an administrator who was not supportive of her needs.

This post still hurts.. 4 years later..

365 Mindful Moments: Hurt Heart...

Student Reflections via Haiku Deck

Sometimes we stumble upon things serendipitously, and it turns out to be a great time to share.
Last year, for our schoolwide end of the year, "Celebration of Learning," my 4th graders put together incredible presentations based on some key discoveries they had made throughout the year. They chose projects that helped them learn most and created presentations to share with the school and with family members. I can't share those slideshows due to school rules, but I can share these reflections.
After the big day of our presentations, the students created reflections of the entire experience on Haiku Deck, posted below (which can be a bit tricky to view depending on your device) or on this wall (easier to navigate!)  They wrote about both our group performance of music videos we created at the Children's Creativity Museum in San Francisco, as well as their own individual presentations.

Created with Padlet

What's your favorite way to share student reflections? 

When was the last time your work was edited?

Every time I write something that isn't for my eyes only, I fret. I write, procrastinate, read aloud, write a bit more, procrastinate a lot more, write, edit, and revise until I make myself a bit (more) nutty.

On this blog, though, I have freed myself from the need to be 100% comprehensible, because sometimes I think it helps to share my thinking journey with the help of my wonderful network of learners. The learning/thinking process is often murky, tiring, and sometimes frankly overwhelming.

Recently, I had an "aha" as I attempted to extinguish the anxiety of submitting my work for an editor. Every time I've gone through the editing/revision process with an editor, whether it's the ASCD Arias book I just completed or for my occasional pieces for EdSurge, I've gained a greater appreciation and deepened empathy for my students.

When they put their thoughts into words, and receive our "helpful" feedback, students are in such a vulnerable space. I wonder how often we ponder this as we take our colored pens and proceed to write on top of their work. I wonder how what we say,  even down to the tone of our words, impacts the future of our writers. This brings me to my question:

Have you had a recent experience of sharing your work and going through the writing process with someone who had some sort of authority or power over it?

Maybe we don't need to have others edit our work to remember this feeling. But it can't hurt to try it out. Next time you write that blog post, poem, or short story, why not send it to a friend who will be brutally honest? Or even better, why not take the plunge and submit your work to your favorite website or publication?

Your students will thank you.

Wait Time..it Matters

So I'll make this short as it's a painful post to write, and, frankly, I share it because it relates to the way we help kids deal with the complex issue of forgiveness.

I got a message yesterday that hit me straight in the gut. As I read the words, I literally felt sick. I won't reveal those words, but they were certainly straight to the point.

I had hurt someone, not just anyone, but a good friend, not intentionally, but perhaps by 2 counts of careless neglect. I accepted an invitation from a nearby friend, although a tiny voice inside whispered that perhaps I should talk to the faraway friend who might feel excluded. I then proceeded to quell that voice inside somehow and subconsciously decide there was nothing to talk about.  Why? Now this is all conjecture because I never allowed myself to think about it..but maybe it was because deep down I was afraid to face a conversation where I might have to hear that someone I care about could be hurt.

This happens all the time with kids: they exclude others without fully realizing what is happening.. and then fail or even refuse to consider how the others might feel... but more about that later.. 

Of course, this type of avoidance never goes well. Ignoring that wise little voice of intuition is never a good thing. But I did.. perhaps because I'm juggling too many balls, perhaps because I lack confidence in dealing with potential conflicts .... the reason doesn't matter. I screwed up. 

And this brings me to the what next.

I sent an apology. I tried to explain (and tried not to defend) my actions or lack thereof. And now I wait, in the gut-wrenching knowledge that I have caused another human being emotional pain, and that this person may decide to never forgive me. And I am so very sad.

And then it dawned on me: It's not in my control. I must wait.. If I keep trying to reach out, perhaps I am not honoring the other person's need for time. Ultimately, I will also have to forgive myself, whether or not the other person does.

This brings me to what we do with kids when they make a mistake that hurts another person. 

We often make them apologize, and then we also expect the offended person to accept. What if that person isn't ready to forgive? Do we help kids understand that relationships are a process and that a breach in trust just doesn't go away after the, "I'm sorry?"

Just as adults need time for processing, so do kids. Feelings are a complicated landscape, and so often we make things worse by our own need to tie things up in a nice bow and say we've taken care of it.

I don't know how to make right the wrong. And I'm an adult! Imagine how complicated it is for kids.

I do know this:
I vow to act with more intention and to listen to the sensitive soul inside me who keeps me on track.
I will practice letting go of the outcome; I cannot expect someone to forgive me, but only express my feelings of regret and hope that one day they will believe again.
I will help kids understand that the process of forgiveness is not a clean, simple, linear one and that it's okay if we don't have immediate closure.

Here's a final question for you: 
How do you help kids move on when they don't get the result they want?

EQ Week 2014 is coming, March 10th-15th!

I strongly believe that the more we learn about emotional intelligence, the more able we are to navigate our own emotional lives as well as empower those we interact with each day.

In 2012 I participated in the very first EQ week webinars, and I was excited to learn about the wonderful work of Six Seconds. I attended their educator training the following summer and began to incorporate more social emotional lessons into my 4th grade curriculum. 

I'm excited to share: EQ WEEK 2014 -- the 3rd annual online conference with over 60 webinars - all free!!!  Speakers from ALL over the globe will share their wisdom on neuroscience, parenting, leadership, teaching -- and LIFE. Webinars are live and have limited space, but recordings are avail for a month following.  Details & signup here: http://www.6seconds.org/e/ 

Hope to see you (virtually) there! 

(Just an FYI: I gain nothing financially from sharing this news. I just believe in the power of EQ!)